Thursday, June 3, 2010

Putting Myself Out There...............

Ok, so I've been in my new neighborhood for almost six months now. I love the area. It is so family friendly. But I miss my old friends. It is tough to try and make a whole new circle of "my people". It is almost like being a kid and starting at a new school. You walk around and see other kids socializing and playing on the swings and in the sandbox and they have been friends for years (or at least a few weeks and that's a long time to a kid). But it is somehow easier for them. They don't have a lifetime of experiences to use as their excuse as to why they can't just walk right up to someone and start pushing them on the swing. They don't have memories of fear or anxiety or nervousness when it comes to intruducing themselves to complete strangers (although that is one quality all parents wish their children had programmed into their innocent little brains). Instead, they are carefree and adventurous. They don't see challenges. They simply see other kids having fun and why wouldn't they want to be a part of that? What could be so difficult about walking right up and jumping right in?

I keep telling myself that and yet, weekend after weekend that I am without my boys, I find myself in the same ole routine. Clean house, go running, get groceries, and then plop down in front of the television for another Saturday or Sunday night Tivo marathon. Usually accompanied by a beer or two. Or maybe wine if I'm feeling fancy.

Motivation was never anything I found difficult. But lately, my mind is consumed with "I wonder what my friends are doing." or "I wish I had friends out here that I could just go hang out with", or "I wish my friends would just drive their lazy asses out to here to visit me, I mean what kind of friends are they anyway? Do they even care? Do they even realize how bored I am or how much I miss them and need them?" Oh, sorry about that. Lost myself in a tangent for a moment. (side note to all my friends who read this - I know you love me and I know you have your own lives. I can be called out too for not coming to see you guys more often.)

I think we all have these kinds of thoughts from time to time and our only way of making ourselves feel better is to blame the other people in our lives for not making the effort. But hey, who are we kidding? We're not making the efforts either. And in my case, my friends just live so damn far away. Yes, I am the one that moved, but remember, I'm trying to make ME feel better right now.

So in an effort to quit whining and bitching about sitting on the sidelines while I watch all the other kids play, I am putting myself out there! I love and miss my friends immensely, but I realize that being in a new town means that I have to make "new friends." So I am going out in my new neighborhood more, I joined a Single Parents Meetup Group, and I've already met one other single mom who is going to join me on this new venture (at least I hope she will.) And who knows, meeting new folks might lead to meeting possible "date material." And that's another topic all to itself.

Happy Living All!