Friday, April 3, 2009

Hello and Hello......

Blank slate?........ Not so much. Been here before…… the introductory blog. For my friends that followed me on my “triing with twins” blog, welcome to my new world! For those of you that are new to me, welcome to chaos! I am a newly single mother of three and half year old twin boys (wow! What a description!). I use the term “newly single” loosely, as the divorce is not final yet. There’s no immediate hurry since he and I are……... wait for it………… wait for it………... very good friends. Yep! That’s what I said!

Can we be the poster children of ending a marriage friendly? Maybe. Will we take to the courts like two five year olds in a tug-o-war match fighting over every last napkin holder and dish towel? Absolutely not! Everything we do will be in the best interest of our two wonderful three year old boys. “Oh sure,” you’re thinking…..”I’ve heard that before.” Everyone always starts out doing everything in the best interest of the kids, but somehow along the way, forget who their kids are in fact. All they remember is who did what and who gets what. I refuse to let “me” get in the way of “them”. My soon-to-be ex believes in the same thing.

We were friends to begin with and we can be friends to end it. I know that it can’t happen that way for some people. Believe me, I’ve watched many of my friends go through a divorce in much an opposite way. It breaks my heart to see what has happened to them through the process. They don’t just lose the living room suit or the house or even time with their kids. They lose so much more. They lose a piece of who they used to be. Because it wears you down to slightly more than a nub of a human being. I get that. I do. But I also know that we have more control over our reactions than we give ourselves credit for. So many of us succumb to what is expected. And it doesn’t have to be that way.

Anyway, my new journey as a single mother of twin boys begins today (well it began two months ago when I moved out, but for argument’s sake, we’ll say today, since I’m introducing myself to you.) I’m not sure if the things I have to say will pose any kind of impact in anyone else’s life but my own. If one person starts to think about the negative things that are happening in their lives in a different way, then I’ve accomplished more than I set out to do.

Happy living all!


Kelly said...

It's so awesome that you guys can remain friends through your separation...I certainly wish it was that way with my FOB (father of my boys). It started out great, but once the new girlfriend came along....that was it. When they break up, he becomes my friend again. If it wasn't so sad, it would be funny. I have hope that we will find a way to be civil in the future, after all we are stuck together forever through our children. I wish you all the best as you start this journey. Welcome... :)