Thursday, March 17, 2011

"I Cannot Legislate Stupidity"......

As a requirement to get divorced in the great county of Dekalb, parents must endure four and a half hours of what I like to call “We know some of you are not as stupid as we may think, but just in case……” parental lecturing. Yesterday, I was happy to sit in a back-breaking chair for four hours listening to two psychologists tell me things I already knew, while drinking coffee so stale that the dead beans haunted my taste buds for the remainder of the day. Why? Because it put me one step closer to D day.

I don’t knock the seminar all together. The speakers were actually very good. I enjoyed many of their stories and agreed with each and every one of their points about raising healthy children through divorce. I just spent a great deal of time yesterday wondering how many other parents in that same room would walk away with this information and actually put it to some good use. As I panned the room with my eyes and curiosity, I watched as some parents grumbled derogatory comments under their breath of their soon-to-be ex spouses. I sat back and listened to questions that I swear had to have come from the kids themselves and not the parents sitting before us claiming the question is theirs. I witnessed even the speakers marvel at these questions wondering if it was some kind of joke and should they really entertain an answer or just move on as if they never heard a word. It was truly an amusement park of dysfunction. And by that, I mean how many kids, from this room alone, are going to be so f’d up once this whole thing is over?

While I occupied my time with this undeniable entertainment, I couldn't help but sit back and look to my left and appreciate what I had. Because, contrary to the rest of the room, sitting next to me was my soon-to-be ex spouse. Out of 50-60 other people in attendance, we were the only couple to attend this seminar together. Could it be that we are the rare 3% of couples that can do this as a unified force, on friendly terms, without the threat of firearms? How can the number be so small of parents that see the benefit of ending on the best terms possible? Why is it that there are more people out there that would rather hash out the worst case scenario instead of thinking about a positive environment for their children?

As we completed the class and our certificates were handed out to us, I decided that I would not question the choices of those other parents, but rather appreciate the choices that my soon-to-be ex spouse and I make on a daily basis. Our divorce was about the two of us splitting amicably. Our future is about our children living happily.

Happy Living All!

P.S. The title of today's post is courtesy of one of the speakers at the seminar in response to a parent's question.