Monday, January 4, 2010

Commitments and TNT.......

Well I did it. I fell victim to the ole “it’s a new year, it’s going to be a new me, time to make some changes, etc, etc, etc” euphoria. That’s a good thing though. While I still hold tight to my belief in making “anti-resolutions” as opposed to actual new year’s resolutions, I believe this will really start my new year…….ahem… new life off on the right foot.

So here goes………………for all the world to see………… commitment……….

I quit smoking completely (I know, gross right?) AND I signed up to train for another marathon this year. I am actually totally stoked about both!! Smoking is gross, but I did it anyway. I was a smoker many years back and quit fairly easily. And then last year, around this same time, I picked it back up. Chock it up to one of those “questionable judgment calls” I mentioned in my previous post. At first I enjoyed it, still getting the nicotine high that non-smokers get. Then it just became habit, albeit only two a day, but still. So, I started this morning with almost an entire pack in my purse. By the time I got to work, I made my commitment to stop. Threw them away in the parking lot. It’s that simple. Once I completely commit to something, I usually have no problems following through. And I have placed the added burden of honesty on myself by sharing my commitment with the world. Kinda like getting that gym membership. You are more likely to go when you see the draft coming out of your bank account every month, right?

And I know what you’re thinking….. a marathon? Yes. I actually grew up hating running, but for some reason I did it anyway. And then about 6 years ago (pre twins), I signed up with the American Stroke Association and trained for a marathon to be run in Bermuda of all places. The training was great. And the Marathon? not-so-great. I take that back. The marathon itself was GREAT! The time in which I ran it, ummmm, walked it, was not. But hey, I finished and that’s what counts right??? Plus I raised over $4000 for the American Stroke Association. Win-win!!

This year I am running for my aunt and my cousin. They both have an unfortunate personal relationship with cancer. My aunt is in the middle of her fight. Having endured her first round of chemo just this past week. She is an amazing spirit, my aunt. She smiles at pain, laughs at fear and sucker punches obstacles. I hope that if I am ever faced with anything remotely as scary as cancer that I can flip it the bird with as much southern grace as she does. I do this for her.

My cousin is a vibrant, beautiful young mother of two who has been divorcing her cancer for the past several years now. It was an ugly divorce. One that was full of name calling, finger pointing and top-of-the-lung yelling sessions, that left her body frail and barely reminiscent of what she once was. But like any other divorce, the separation has given her new birth. She is a cancer survivor in every possible meaning of the word. An inspiration to her children, her friends and her family. I do this for her.

So here I am, at another crossroads, in which I am choosing the less-easy road. Divorce sucks, becoming a single parent sucks, moving into a new home and starting all over again sucks. But life itself does not have to. =)

Happy Living All!